pieces of me

a picture of me at my "work station" in SGH

mum has been back since Sunday, im so glad that she recovering from her operation, though abit slow in a certain manner, but at least its heading the right direction. From her operation, it really got me thinking that everyone really needs someone to be with them at their lowest point. The times in the hospital, where i assured my Mum's hand that everything will be fine, with her holding my face. Rim of tears filled my eyes, witnessing such excruciating pain suffered by someone so so dear to you is definitely not something i'll look forward to in the near future.

schedule has never been packed like this before. Singapore pools commitments, FLP commitments, School commitments and now Mum's commitments. check out my schedule:

17/05/08 onwards
Sat: Singapore pools
Sun: Singapore pools
Mon: Singapore pools
Tues: School
Wed: FLP
Thurs: FLP
Fri: School
Sat: FLP
Sun: Singapore pools
Monday: FLP
Tues: Singapore pools
Wed: FLP
Thurs: Singapore pools

not forgetting in the breathless schedule, i got to travel between the hospital when mum is admitted. i thank god that Dad is really being there for her, taking leaves and accompanying her through the sleepless nights at home so far.

on a side note, i chanced upon her blog. Didnt know that she has started updating till tdy. I really appreciate the affection shown towards all her mentions. No doubt that i wasnt the perfect someone she could asked for, i held my stand that i gave 110% for her. As any other human beings, flashbacks was a passing phase, the happy times together is something i would not trade anything for. As we were such close, in terms of interest wise and the times spent ... the deeper the cut was felt. I loved her so much, yet she hurt me so so deep.

I sincerely wish her well now, perhaps it was a decision made on impulse and perhaps its a decision that favour the situation then. I used to harbour the feeling of hate towards her, but i understood that everyone makes mistakes. As long as you feel that you made the right decision, go ahead and get something out of it. But sometimes you got to realise, when things goes wrong. It will be too late to have any regrets cause u made your own decision. Never once i did so much to win a girl back and never once a girl has affected me that badly, she remains the first and hopefully the last.

of course, i would like to be in the other side of relationship status. But relationships are so fickle guided nowadays, the friends around me further proved my thinking. Its those kind of feeling that when you are in it, u want outta it. But when u are outta it, you WANT to be in it. Hopefully, that new chapter arrives soon, but judging on the pronounced schedule, it really seems quite hard.

leave it to fate ben ... its all pre-destined.